I was alone, but not lonely. Why staying connected is vital as we age

Opinion admin October 2, 2026 0 Comments

I was alone, but not lonely. Why staying connected is vital as we age | Opinion

Since Sept. 14, I have spent a lot of time alone. That was the day I started feeling the symptoms of the flu. While I was shut in, my friends and loved ones made sure I didn’t want for anything. But for the most part I spent a lot of time alone, not wanting to expose anyone to the flu virus. And, yet, I wasn’t lonely.

I thought about this thing called loneliness after reading an article about a recent study on loneliness and social isolation, which are costing people nearly six years of life free from mental health issues like depression and anxiety.

Wow! When you are already 88, you don’t want to even think about losing six years of your life. Besides, there might not be six years left…

Physical and mental health suffers when people feel lonely and become isolated, even if they largely stick to healthy habits, according to the study, published in Nature Communications.

Social isolation refers to having few relationships or limited contact with others, while loneliness is a distressing feeling caused by a lack of meaningful connection, according to the National Council on Aging. The study goes on to say that people can be socially isolated but will not feel lonely if they are getting what they need from their social connections.

This made me think. In my life, I have spent a lot of time alone. When I was a young mom and suffered from postpartum depression, I was alone a lot. But looking back, I don’t remember feeling lonely. Just sad.

My two little boys helped pull me through what could have been my loneliest days. Focusing on someone else not only helped them, it also helped to make my own days brighter.

There will be times in all our lives when we will find ourselves alone. I really felt alone when my “nest” became empty when the boys grew up and left home. For the first time in many years, I found myself alone in a house that suddenly seemed so much bigger than it used to be. The boys were gone to find their own paths. What on earth would I do?

What I did was to become more involved in my church. I pulled out the sewing machine and started seriously sewing – making everything from christening outfits to elaborate bridal gowns. I learned to make hats. And I had my work as a journalist. I became so busy that I forgot I was alone. And I was happy.

Then, Mom had a massive stroke and I cared for her at home. As I look back, I didn’t feel lonely because there was always something to do, someone to take care of other than myself. Loneliness creeps in whenever there is an opening in your life, an empty space. I was able to fill the empty spaces by caring for others and by doing the things that made me happy.

I know it isn’t that easy for everyone. And I am no psychologist: I can only say what works for me.

The study also said that roughly half of all U.S. adults are lonely, and nearly as many feel socially isolated.

“Overall, the study found that social isolation and loneliness can have a significant impact on disease-free life expectancy,” said the study’s lead author, Lu Qi, a distinguished chair and professor in the Celia Scott Weatherhead School of Public Health and Tropical Medicine at Tulane University in New Orleans. “This includes both physical and mental disease.”

I’ve always said that I don’t mind growing old. I just want to have a good quality of life as I grow old. (I meant to say “older.”) A good quality of life means I will continue to have a good rapport with people of all ages, and enjoy their company. It means that I will take the time to help brighten someone else’s day. In doing so, my own life will be less lonely.

Without realizing it, I believe I have used this formula throughout my life to help combat loneliness. There is a Scripture in the Bible that tells us to esteem others more highly than ourselves. I have found that it really does help when we focus on others, lifting them and just being generally kind. It helps to say something nice to someone just because.

When you do, you will find your life a little less lonely.

United Way honorees

Kudos to the five Miami-Dade community leaders who were honored recently by United Way Miami at the Celebration of Impact Awards.

The honorees are: Dr. Alison Thompson, founder of Third Wave Volunteers; Erin Kobetz, Ph.D., MPH, a University of Miami health equity leader; Florida State Rep. Mike Redondo; Miriam Singer, president and CEO of Jewish Community Services of South Florida; and Sophia Chen, a 2026 graduate of Cutler Bay Senior High School.

“We are deeply grateful for these extraordinary leaders, who give so generously of their time and talents to make life better for others. Their impact reaches across our community, and they reflect the very best of Miami-Dade and what we can accomplish when we come together, in service to others,” said Symeria Hudson, president and CEO of United Way Miami.

United Way Miami has a longstanding tradition of recognizing volunteers, human services professionals, public leaders and young changemakers whose dedication has made a lasting difference across Miami-Dade. Several of the awards are named for local leaders whose legacies continue to inspire service, including Dorothy Shula, Essie Silva and Monsignor Bryan O. Walsh.